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06:13 pm
[Link] | For certain people who complained about seeing no moose on their trip to Canada:
I give you the HOLY FUCKING SHIT THOSE THINGS ARE FUCKING HUGE video of choice for today.
That thing the size of a HORSE that comes out first?
That's the NEWBORN BABY.
Wait for the mother.
More here.
Tags: moose
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01:17 pm
[Link] |
gonnagetchagonnagetchagonnagetchagonnagetcha
Seen here: the rare Canadian "Jesus Leopard", so named because it runs on water, chasing a stork with a skin condition.
Tags: moose
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09:37 am
[Link] |
From my lawn this morning.
Luckily, since my lawn is 2.4 km long (about 6 miles, for the Americans), I wasn't close enough to get splattered. My poor azalias, though, are a total loss. The HAZMAT team was still there when I left for work.
Tags: moose
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03:30 pm
[Link] | Mark Steyn Says It's Not His Fault: "All those stories about more MRI machines in Philadelphia than in the whole of Canada," sighed President Chelsea Clinton Obama. "Why didn't we figure out, if they're not spending the budget on MRI machines, they must be doing something else with it. To think we swallowed that hooey about the 'Toronto General' and the 'Royal Victoria' being just hospitals . . ." She was about to fire the CIA director but at that point Field Marshal Khadr of the Ontario Human Rights Commission Mounted Division entered the Oval Office on a SARS-breathing winged moose . . . Steyn discovers Kratman, is namedropped by Ringo, and is thoroughly annoyed.
Of course, while it's not his fault that Kratman's an islamophobic white-supremacist hack, it *is* Steyn's fault that he's also a white supremacist, and that his writings on white supremacy have inspired bad fiction.
And moose engineering.
Tags: moose
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10:35 am
[Link] | Canada's #1 Dating Site!
Tags: moose
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08:46 pm
[Link] |
Oh, very well. If I moost.
Tags: moose
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09:15 am
[Link] | 
Tags: moose
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02:45 pm
[Link] | Moose bites can be very nasty!
Tags: moose
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09:59 pm
[Link] |
"Natural Selection, pick meeeeeeee!"
NOW THEY FLY!
Tags: moose
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01:50 pm
[Link] |
THEY EATS THE CARS
Tags: moose
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03:58 pm
[Link] |
They made this less scary, for the children.
Tags: moose
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05:06 pm
[Link] |
Do I even NEED to tell you who's to blame for this one?
Every last reindeer in the Northwest Territories is missing.
Tags: moose
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07:14 pm
[Link] | Headline: World of Warcraft saves boy from moose.
Real story: The moose was laughing too hard to actually finish unhinging it's jaw to swallow him whole.
Tags: moose
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08:52 am
[Link] |
A PSA.
CANADIANS understand how public service announcements work. (Warning: Music, sound, and it's a Canadian "workplace safety" PSA. Those are generally pretty gruesome.)
We've gotten the practice at making them good, from centuries of experience in teaching our children to avoid the moose.
Here's another example - it's a catechism that we ensure all schoolchildren know by heart, by the time they're able to spell their own names:
Q: What do we do when we are awake?
A: Keep two eyes on the sky.
Q: What do we do when we sleep?
A: Keep one eye on the sky.
Q: What do we do when we see the moose?
A: Dig hard, dig deep, go for shelter, and never look back.
Tags: moose
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12:23 pm
[Link] |
Snopes got it wrong.
This is NOT a picture of a moose fucking a statue of a bison.
This is a picture of a moose fucking a real, live bison. It's just that contact with moose semen, like the touch of a cockatrice, turns you to stone.
But you can still think, and still feel everything.
The moose prefer it that way.
Tags: moose
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10:08 am
[Link] | It would take 26 bottles of Moosehead to kill me, but only 5 drops of pure, fresh moose albumen.
Tags: moose
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03:16 pm
[Link] |
Remember Peru!
Local officials in Sweden have just granted permission for the construction of a giant architectural moose, which will act as a concert hall and restaurant, entered via the moose's mouth.
LIES! This is part of the moose's plan (and their moose-appeasing filthy Swede minions, hoping to be eaten last)! They wish to TRICK you into blithely walking into the venomous fangs of a FULLY-GROWN MOOSE, where it can gnash you and pass you through all seventeen of it's hellish digestive tracts before selectively regurgitating your tasty, tasy bones so that it can eat them a second time.
I'm on to them. Stop the minions! Practice moose safety! Remember, a single moose, left unchecked, can lay enough eggs in a season to pose a serious threat to all other life in the area! You wouldn't want that to happen to YOU, would you?
Tags: moose
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07:56 pm
[Link] |
News that is too good to wait until I get home!
Police "Rescue Moose" Tangled In Swing Set
Silly Americans. Moose are ASSAULT, not RESCUE. The whole concept of "Rescue Moose" is absurd. What happens if they bite the person you're trying to rescue? Do you REALLY want to carry around all that antivenin, to every call?
Tags: moose
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09:44 am
[Link] | Wolves kill first human in more than a century.
Overhunting of Canadian moose has meant that wolves no longer have their natural predator to keep them in check, and are outbreeding the food supply and needing to attack unusual prey, like humans. Moose populations have been declining in recent years as the Canadian Armed Forces have finally managed to develop weapons capable of penetrating the hides of the juveniles, although the adults' chitin is still too strong for conventional armament.
Being eaten by a moose was, at one time, the most common cause of death of humans in Alberta and Saskatchewan.
Tags: moose
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12:05 pm
[Link] | Alaska deploys new electric anti-moose mat to stop them from pouncing the airplanes during takeoffs and landings. No, really.
Creationist Michael Behe, in addition to saying that God is dead and astrology is the same as astronomy, now says that ID advocates can see into the future.Every time Rothschild would ask Behe about a statement, some he wrote himself, he'd say he'd have to disagree that it said what it said. I expected Rothschild to ask Behe whether he was able to read and understand the English language.
At one point during Rothschild's cross-examination, the lawyer asked the scientist whether he was co-authoring a book, a follow-up to "Of Pandas and People," with several other intelligent design mullahs. He said he wasn't. The lawyer showed him depositions and reports to the court, quoting two of the other authors as saying he was a co-author.
Behe said that he wasn't a co-author of the book but that the statements by those guys weren't false. He said one of the authors was "seeing into the future. Duh, I eat poop."
Tags: moose
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