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"Three billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997. The… - Almost certainly not Johnny Depp.

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January 31st, 2013


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08:26 pm
"Three billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997. The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war Judgement Day. They lived, only to face a new nightmare. The war against the machines..."

#bestopeninglinesever?

(32 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


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From:unnamed525
Date:February 1st, 2013 01:36 am (UTC)
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"The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed."
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From:theweaselking
Date:February 1st, 2013 01:42 am (UTC)
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Ugh. Hampered by that series sucking.
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From:sandchigger
Date:February 1st, 2013 02:26 pm (UTC)
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It's still an incredible opening line. I agree with unnamed525.

But yeah, after book 3 or 4 the series just kinda got super shitty.
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From:anivair
Date:February 1st, 2013 03:19 pm (UTC)
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It didn't suck till about midway. Rather, the audience couldn't tell that it sucked till about midway through.
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From:theweaselking
Date:February 1st, 2013 03:40 pm (UTC)
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I found the first book unbearable.
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From:reynardo
Date:February 1st, 2013 01:59 am (UTC)
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"Allow me to be frank at the commencement. You will not like me."

All right - it's two lines, not one, but not bad.
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From:lafinjack
Date:February 1st, 2013 03:40 am (UTC)
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Can I still be Garth?
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From:theweaselking
Date:February 1st, 2013 01:59 am (UTC)
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Today I learned:

Todd, as in "Todd and Janelle", as in "John Connor's foster parents"?

That's Xander Berkeley.

He's The Man.

Who sits in The Booth At The End.

Edited at 2013-02-01 02:02 am (UTC)
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From:onlyonechoice
Date:February 1st, 2013 02:54 am (UTC)
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And Janelle was Vasquez :)
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From:theweaselking
Date:February 1st, 2013 01:42 pm (UTC)
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Yes, but that one I knew. I haven't seen T2 in *years*, so while I'm used to Xander Berkeley being in everything, I'd forgotten that Todd was someone I would recognise.

It's like... going back to Die Hard, having forgotten that the cop outside is Reginald VelJohnson.
(Deleted comment)
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From:theweaselking
Date:February 1st, 2013 04:23 pm (UTC)
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Dude, giant NWS image in the comments, not cool. Please replace with a link, and a warning?
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From:iblis_kukl
Date:February 1st, 2013 04:26 pm (UTC)
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I was just about to come back and resize it to something more manageable, actually (and hadn't even noticed the NWS, believe it or not). Sometimes they don't look all that big till they actually show up in here.

eliazar
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From:theweaselking
Date:February 1st, 2013 04:32 pm (UTC)
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Yeah. The problem is that it was scaled, wherever you saw it. But the image itself was still 1600x1200, and if you don't stick in a scaling command yourself when you repost it....

(But yeah, NWS. "Genitals obscured" does not "not a pinup" make)
[User Picture]
From:iblis_kukl
Date:February 1st, 2013 04:35 pm (UTC)
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What can I say, I'm about the only dude on the planet who'll actually say he reads Playboy for the articles and mean it. I'm way more interested in their IQs than any other numbers describing them.

eliazar
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From:iblis_kukl
Date:February 1st, 2013 04:30 pm (UTC)
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Anyway, Nikki Cox then:



And more recently:



eliazar

Edited at 2013-02-01 04:42 pm (UTC)
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From:hwrnmnbsol
Date:February 1st, 2013 03:51 am (UTC)
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I am partial to:

"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel."

if only because it is now gloriously antiquated.
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From:rev_ursa
Date:February 1st, 2013 07:28 pm (UTC)
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Thank you Gibson. I love that guy.
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From:loopback
Date:February 1st, 2013 11:31 pm (UTC)
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not at all. That means the sky was a glorious cloud-free blue, right?
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From:ashbet
Date:February 8th, 2013 08:00 am (UTC)
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I was going to bring that one up if no one else had :)

<3!
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From:dscotton
Date:February 1st, 2013 04:24 am (UTC)
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"Long long ago, there were a man who try to make his skill ultimate. Because of his bloody life, it's no accident that he was involved in the troubles."
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From:tjackson
Date:February 1st, 2013 04:33 am (UTC)
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From the dawn of time we came; moving silently down through the centuries, living many secret lives, struggling to reach the time of the Gathering; when the few who remain will battle to the last. No one has ever known we were among you... until now.
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From:evcelt
Date:February 1st, 2013 04:39 am (UTC)
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"O for a Muse of fire, that would ascend
The brightest heaven of invention,
A kingdom for a stage, princes to act
And monarchs to behold the swelling scene!"

Edited at 2013-02-01 04:41 am (UTC)
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From:lederhosen
Date:February 1st, 2013 06:49 am (UTC)
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"War. War never changes."
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From:torrain
Date:February 3rd, 2013 07:16 pm (UTC)
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Yes yes yes this. <3

Edited at 2013-02-03 07:16 pm (UTC)
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From:andrewducker
Date:February 1st, 2013 08:47 am (UTC)
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'In five years the penis will become obsolete'. (If we're allowing books)
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From:a_pawson
Date:February 1st, 2013 08:56 am (UTC)
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I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be 'Sir!' Do you maggots understand this?

that or Johnny Depp's opening line: "We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold."
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From:rgovrebo
Date:February 1st, 2013 11:02 pm (UTC)
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The opening to Fear & Loathing is really Hunter S. Thompson's opening line, since it's a direct quote from the book.

Another great opening line, a real mouthful:

"No one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own; that as men busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinised and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinise the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water."

(The War of the Worlds, H.G. Wells)
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From:anton_p_nym
Date:February 1st, 2013 03:14 pm (UTC)
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Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And onto this, Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!

-- Steve knows it's technically three lines, but it still rocks.
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From:iblis_kukl
Date:February 1st, 2013 04:19 pm (UTC)
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"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel."

(Somewhat dated now in the age when blank tv channels are sporting those retina-scorching bright blue screens, I know.)


eliazar
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From:stormfeather
Date:February 1st, 2013 05:46 pm (UTC)
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"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."

Okay, totally different genre than most of them, but I always enjoy that line (and many others).
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From:boxcat
Date:February 3rd, 2013 02:53 pm (UTC)
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"It was a cold day in April, and all the clocks were striking thirteen."
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From:torrain
Date:February 3rd, 2013 07:16 pm (UTC)
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Bright cold day. And yes, that's a good one.

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