?

Log in

Slice Of Life - Almost certainly not Johnny Depp.

> Recent Entries
> Archive
> Friends
> Profile

May 26th, 2007


Previous Entry Share Next Entry
12:32 pm - Slice Of Life
You know, I was going to step up here, open my piece of paper, and begin reading: "Ladies and Gentlemen. If elected, I plan to make some serious changes. To aid the environment, I promise to stop everyone in Hull from going to the toilet. That'll teach them."

I was then going to pause, to look down at my paper, mumble something about that being next week, flip it over, and begin the real speech.

I'm not going to do that.

The reason I'm not going to do that is because, in my foolish and misspent youth, last weekend, I told Pete about this plan, and he stole my joke. That's right, on my wedding day, as my best man, he stole my best joke.

Pete, apparently we can't take you anywhere. You're like if Calvin was raised Amish.

So, lacking a joke, I'm afraid I'm simply going to have to go back to the unrelenting, unbroken absolute seriousness that I'm so well-known for amongst everyone here.

A writer named Chris Onstad said recently, and I'm paraphrasing, that marriage is a terrifying prospect because the best case, the best *possible* result, is that you're going to spend the rest of your life with this one person, grow up, grow old, and die together. You're promising to do this, and after 50 years, what's left? What will you have to show for it?

I read that, and I said "Wow. I get to spend the next 50 years with this person? I get to grow up, grow old, and die together with the most wonderful woman in the world? Where do I sign up?"

You don't actually have to answer that question, I already found that out on my own.

So here we are, almost at the end of the festivities. Frances, I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I propose the last toast of the day: To the next 50 years, and more.

[drink]

Although, for the record? I've kept the packaging. If I don't get the full 50, you're going back to the shop, and I'm getting a refund.

(88 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


Page 1 of 3
<<[1] [2] [3] >>
[User Picture]
From:dgg
Date:May 26th, 2007 04:55 pm (UTC)
(Link)
CHEERS!

Very touching. Congratulations to you both!
[User Picture]
From:madcatwoman
Date:May 26th, 2007 04:58 pm (UTC)
(Link)
A true romantic!
[User Picture]
From:flemco
Date:May 26th, 2007 04:59 pm (UTC)
(Link)
As stated in me own LJ:

I wish you many years of happiness, as well as several angry ones for contrast!
[User Picture]
From:drjamez
Date:May 26th, 2007 05:00 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Congratulations!

Keep the packaging, but don't bother keeping it in plain sight. In fact, if you forget where you stored it, that's all the better.

- James -

...who's assuming you're also keeping the receipt? ;-)
[User Picture]
From:torrain
Date:May 26th, 2007 05:03 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I've got his receipt. It's kind of like having his number. ;)
[User Picture]
From:mckenzee
Date:May 26th, 2007 05:12 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I, myself, am get married in 24 days. The bride does not yet have a ring or shoes.

[User Picture]
From:glitteringlynx
Date:June 3rd, 2009 05:35 pm (UTC)
(Link)
That sounds like this one couple I know. They were engaged and married 6 weeks later.
[User Picture]
From:takhisis
Date:May 26th, 2007 05:18 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Congrats to you both! Has the "thank god the ceremony planning is over" feeling hit yet? ;D
[User Picture]
From:rimrunner
Date:May 26th, 2007 05:20 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Congratulations to you both.
[User Picture]
From:dilickjm
Date:May 26th, 2007 05:24 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Congratulations!

The first 49 years are the hardest, then it's smooth sailing from there.
[User Picture]
From:ironphoenix
Date:May 26th, 2007 05:37 pm (UTC)
(Link)
The packaging is worth keeping, it being very nice. I'm betting that the product will keep you happy, so long as you keep the batteries charged.

Congratulations!
[User Picture]
From:jsbowden
Date:May 26th, 2007 05:53 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Welcome to the club, the secret handshake should have been shown to you during your ceremony, if not, ask your parents.
[User Picture]
From:opaqueplanet
Date:May 26th, 2007 08:14 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Eew, do you think he wants to see his parents do the "secret handshake"?

Congrats, theweaselking and torrain! May you guys get the whole 50 and maybe even some bonus years for being so awesome! All happiness to you!
[User Picture]
From:dreamshade
Date:May 26th, 2007 06:05 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Best of luck.
[User Picture]
From:hadesflower
Date:May 26th, 2007 06:36 pm (UTC)
(Link)
congrats and best wishes to you both!
[User Picture]
From:stormfeather
Date:May 26th, 2007 06:38 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Congratulations youze guys!
[User Picture]
From:being_here
Date:May 26th, 2007 07:34 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Congratulations!

I'd poke the best man in the eyes with a pointy stick though.
[User Picture]
From:theweaselking
Date:May 27th, 2007 04:14 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Naw, the joke really is that *no matter what joke he started with*, I was going to blame him for stealing it from me.

Because, really, blaming Pete for stealing my joke is funnier than my joke was.
[User Picture]
From:peristaltor
Date:May 26th, 2007 07:50 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Congrats!

Oh, and tales like that are the reason I didn't have a best man.

Quotes like the 50 year thing were the reason we danced to "There's No Way Out of Here" (David Gilmore, first album).
[User Picture]
From:theweaselking
Date:May 27th, 2007 04:14 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Naw, the joke really is that *no matter what joke he started with*, I was going to blame him for stealing it from me.

Because, really, blaming Pete for stealing my joke is funnier than my joke was.
[User Picture]
From:allysonsedai
Date:May 26th, 2007 10:11 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Aww, perfect!

Congratulations!
[User Picture]
From:missysedai
Date:May 27th, 2007 01:57 am (UTC)
(Link)
You krazy kidz!

Love to both of you, wish I could have been there to dance for you. Some day!
[User Picture]
From:musique174
Date:May 27th, 2007 02:01 am (UTC)
(Link)
Awww.... congratulations!
[User Picture]
From:pope_guilty
Date:May 27th, 2007 04:08 am (UTC)
(Link)
Gratsgrats grats!
[User Picture]
From:johan_g
Date:May 27th, 2007 08:45 am (UTC)
(Link)
Congratulations!
[User Picture]
From:andrewducker
Date:May 27th, 2007 10:49 am (UTC)
(Link)
Great speech - and congratulations!
[User Picture]
From:demongrrrrl
Date:May 27th, 2007 07:24 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Congradumalations!!!
[User Picture]
From:catcom
Date:May 27th, 2007 09:14 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Congrats and happy happy days!
[User Picture]
From:cmseward
Date:May 28th, 2007 01:29 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Congratulations! Hope you enjoy(ed) the honeymoon.
[User Picture]
From:theweaselking
Date:May 28th, 2007 02:21 pm (UTC)
(Link)
The honeymoon is going along, all week. I'm in Victoria, BC!
[User Picture]
From:entropymagnet
Date:May 28th, 2007 03:54 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Congratulations! :)

> Go to Top
LiveJournal.com