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May 19th, 2004

May 19th, 2004
12:16 am [Link]	On how to survive a zombie apocalypse: The Superior Opinion 5.18.04 Posted By Jeremy Bradford on 05.18.04 A lot of zombie films help to maintain a good starting point for talking about a zombie holocaust. From Night of the Living Dead, we learned small farmhouses = fucked. Of course, the problem was simply a bigot so maybe a farmhouse isn't a bad idea. From Dawn of the Dead, we learned malls = fucked. Of course, the problem was simply a hungry biker group. From Day of the Dead, we learned anywhere...well you get my point. The problem I've always encountered while thinking about this topic is how do you get any rest? How do you secure a certain area? Do I live out my days in a Twinkie Factory, ala Family Guy? Do I choose a more isolated area and set up perimeter like in 28 Days Later? Or do I stay in a large town with plenty of ammo and food? The mall sounds good but it is and can be in a major metropolis meaning once your food is gone so are you. One could live peacefully in a mall for quite some time with probably no concernable problems. The food court should have canned goods, frozen meat, and enough variety from driving yourself mad. Also, the mall offers modern devices that may make life go a little bit easier. But, I'm going to assume that all power would be off. If there is one thing I learned about the end times/zombie holocaust the order of things to go is 1) Human Lives 2) Electrical Power 3) Sanity. You may sometimes be able to mix up the order but it's safe to assume it's a standard formula. (Leave a comment)
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12:23 am [Link]	Jesse Ventura thinking of adding presidential contender to his list of jobs If you follow this link, you'll either want to surf with Javascript *OFF*, or hit "stop" on your browser once you reach the story. There's a javashit redirector to a signup page after a second or two on the story you're actually trying to read. But it's a neat story, if you like Ventura. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- ASHEVILLE, N.C.--As the former governor of Minnesota browsed through a local pipe shop looking for a humidor, a customer gave him a double glance before uttering, "You look a lot like Jesse Ventura." Ventura smiled wryly, winked and retorted, "A lot of people tell me that." Nearly a year and a half removed from office, Ventura is 31 pounds lighter, sports a dark beard and no longer shaves the sides of his famous dome. With a Cohiba cigar locked firmly in his mouth and looking more like Cuban dictator Fidel Castro than his most recent and refined political incarnation, Jesse "The Body" Ventura continues to evolve. He's worn a number of hats over the years -- biker, Rolling Stones bodyguard, Navy SEAL, pro wrestler and announcer, pro football commentator, movie star, suburban mayor, governor, talk show host, Harvard professor. His next step, he hints, could be a run for the nation's highest office. "Anything is possible," bellows the gravel-voiced Ventura (Leave a comment)
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11:52 am [Link]	(Leave a comment)
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03:54 pm [Link]	Funny. Very, very funny. I'm back Hey everyone. Greetings from planet earth. Sorry about faking my death. I always knew my biggest supporters would play along until it was the right time for me to return. Yesterday, being the 20th anniversary, was a long enough time to go away. No one has ever gone away that long before. I've been documenting my adventures for the last twenty years in journals and will be posting some of the best stories from here. Mostly though, I've just been practicing transcendental meditation throughout various parts of the world while working odd jobs and keeping a low profile. I'll be posting regularly from this address. You can consider this site Andy Kaufman central. Enrique P. is some kind of obsessed online fan of mine. Now for your obvious first question. "How can I know this is the real Andy Kaufman, and not some prankster punk kid?" Well, all I can say is that definitive proof that I am the real Andy Kaufman will be forthcoming. For now, you'll just have to trust me. It's good to be back. Yours truly, Andy (Leave a comment)